You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
