if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
