she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
even my farts smell like vagina
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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