The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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