I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
