Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
