Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
