Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
