Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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