tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
