Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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