So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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