your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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