Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
