It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
