Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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