We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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