Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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