So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
