he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
