why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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