you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize