That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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