barbara walters just said penis...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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