I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize