morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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