I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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