You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
