How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
this boner is exhausting
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
