Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize