Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
