i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
