Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
