I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
