Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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