I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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