Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
