It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
