Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
