I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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