the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
