I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
