So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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