Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
