I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Randomize
