i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
