I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize