i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Green mimosas i think yes
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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