Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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