Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
