She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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