And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
