I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
