Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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