By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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