I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
