This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
