Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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