dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
