So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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