Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
